IC CONTACT | Mask or Menace

[animated]

"Hey, you've reached Charlie Maxwell. Leave me a message. Or just text me. I might get back to you faster that way."

Comments

[animated]

I'm no stranger to depressing stories. I'm the guy who always brings up something sad when we're at parties, remember?

[stealwithit]

[ a corner of her lips turn up in a half-hearted attempt at a smile. ]

Right.

[ there's a little pause, then, as Kasumi rests her hands on her lap, and suddenly they must be very interesting as she keeps her gaze fixed down on them. She hasn't had to explain or tell this story to anyone outside of the Normandy Crew. ]

I have this... Thing, a neural implant, called a graybox. It stores things like memories, for the most part, but it can store other data, too, if you're good enough at that sort of thing. But it lets me access my memories like I'm living through it again.

I also have someone else's graybox. My old partner-in-crime, Keiji.

[animated]

[ he remembers the name, slurred out at Shepard's birthday party. It seemed like a heavy topic, and it certainly wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with Kasumi while she was drink, so he steered her away from it at the time ]

... He was more than your partner-in-crime, wasn't he?

[stealwithit]

[ Her hands ball into fists on her lap. ]

Yeah, he was.

Was I being that obvious?

[ And that's her attempt at keeping things light. ]

[animated]

Just a bit.

... What happened to him?

[stealwithit]

He got into some intel that he should have just stayed away from, and he was killed for it.

It's all in his graybox. The man who killed him took it from Keiji by force.

[ She hopes that's enough to say his head was carved open. ]

[animated]

[ It's easy enough to figure out what it takes to remove a neural implant by force ]

Jesus. I'm so sorry.

I-- but you have his graybox now, right?

[stealwithit]

[ She nods solemnly. ]

Yeah, I do. Shep helped me get it back from the man who killed him.

[animated]

Can you access what's inside it?

[stealwithit]

[ Another nod. ]

I can. It has Keiji's memories--it's all that's left of him, Charlie.

[animated]

Kasumi... How much time do you spend in those memories?

t-that icon he looks so sad i'm sorry charlie

[stealwithit]

... Do I have to answer that question?

feel the full force of his puppydog eyes

[animated]

I think that's an answer enough.

Come here, I feel like I need to give you a hug.

it's over 9000

[stealwithit]

[ The sound she makes is pretty much a half-laugh, half-about to choke up with tears, and her voice shrinks. ]

You really don't need to--

[ Don't listen to her, Charlie. She really needs a hug. ]

[animated]

[ The tone of her voice damn near breaks his heart. ]

Oh no you don't. Get over here.

[ and he does pull her into a hug. He'd stroke her hair if he could, so he just sort of settles for running a hand along the back of her hood, careful not to dislodge it ]

[stealwithit]

[ This... is new.

Kasumi honestly isn't sure when the last time anyone's comforted her like this was. Possibly, never, at least not about Keiji's death, because she went into hiding afterwards to make sure she wouldn't be found, and she didn't have anyone to turn to.

To have that now, after all this time, all of a sudden--it pushes her over the edge she didn't even know she'd been on, and she feels her vision blurring from the tears that brim in her eyes, and her body shakes with a sob. ]

Oh, god--

[animated]

It's okay, Kasumi. You're allowed to cry.

[ Because he knows what it's like to lose the person you love, to have no time to mourn them or even consider how their loss might affect you. It took him more than twenty years to do his crying, and even after all that time, it didn't hurt any less. ]

[stealwithit]

But--

[ She's not allowed to cry. Even in front of Shep, when she had been on the brink of it, she managed not to--because to an extent, their relationship is a professional one. And how unprofessional is it to cry in front of your boss?

But Charlie's different, isn't he? Charlie's the first real friend she's made in god knows how long.

She doesn't realize how much she's needed one of those until now. ]

It's my fault he died, Charlie. I wasn't fast enough--and then I left him there.

[animated]

So you dive into the graybox out of guilt? Because you think that living in the past will somehow make up for it? Because you're wishing so hard for a chance to say you're sorry that will never, ever come?

I don't know what happened, Kasumi, so I can't say whose fault it was, but I can say that if he loved you- really loved you- then he wouldn't blame you for a second.

And I think seeing you like this would break his heart.

He was important to you, so mourn him. Mourn him for as long as it takes. No one would begrudge you that. But living in the past only denies you a future worth living.

[stealwithit]

[ There is nobody in the galaxy--neither of the ones she's apparently been in--that has said anything like that to her before, that has been so right about what she was going through without her even realizing it.

Probably because she never let herself get this close to anyone back home. Shep had been getting to it, but he was never really one for sentimentality, and again, there was somewhat of a professional barrier, there. Other than that, well--no one even knew she nor Keiji existed. There was no one to reach out to, and Kasumi didn't particularly feel a need to.

Which is why she's been rendered speechless, essentially, and she finally looks up, glassy eyes locking onto Charlie's. ]

I... I don't know what to say.

[ She really doesn't. ]

[animated]

You don't have to say anything.

I just want you to know I'm here for you, no matter what. If you wanna cry or talk or just sit in silence that's fine. You just don't have to do it by yourself.

[stealwithit]

[ His sincerity and just, genuine kindness are pretty unfamiliar to someone like Kasumi, and she can't help but look away again. ]

I don't think I've ever had a friend like you, Charlie.

[animated]

Clearly you've been missing out. I'm pretty much amazing.

[ he says it with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a little ]

But seriously, anything you need, you name it.

[stealwithit]

[ That earns him a small, soft laugh as she reaches up to wipe the tears from her eyes and cheeks. ]

God--

[ with another little sniff and one hand still at her eyes, she moves the other hand and, after a moment's hesitation, pulls her hood back slowly. ]

You were supposed to tell me how your night with the Iron Bull went. How did this happen?

[animated]

[ For a moment, Charlie doesn't know what to say. Coming from Kasumi, the fact that she lowered her hood is... significant. Perhaps beyond significant. ]

Hey, you. [ smooth, Charles ]